So it’s almost the end of January, 2023, as of the writing of this blog.
I’m curious- if you made any New Year’s Resolutions, how successful have you been?
With all sincerity, I hope that question can be answered, “Wildly!”
Yet, if you’re like the vast majority of people, 2023’s best intentions have already gone belly-up. And it’s not your fault!
Our failure happens right from the start, as we set the goals themselves.
Here are 5 Mistakes most of us make when we’re setting goals:
Mistake #1: People set a goal based on what they know they can accomplish.
After all, if you ever learned SMART goal-setting, the ‘A’ is ‘achievable’, right?
Yet where is the stretch in that mentality?
There’s a famous quote by the incomparable Michelangelo that sums this up perfectly:
“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and hitting our mark.”
Real, significant, sustainable growth happens when we are challenged to think and act in ways we’ve never thought and acted before. More of the same = more of the same.
Perhaps the reason why we set these kinds of goals is because we fear failure.
Here’s an egg-scrambling thought: Failure is Success’s greatest companion. Without failure, there’s no risk. Without risk, there’s no growth. Failure is a required step in the learning process, and fear of failure is often the main driver of status quo.
How’s that working for you? Ready to try a different approach for 2023?
Mistake #2: People fall in love with the plan at the expense of the goal.
Once we’ve established the goal we believe we can achieve, then we set out diligently to craft the plan to achieve said goal. Nothing inherently wrong with that.
A goal won’t happen just because it’s been created. Action is required.
Often, however, we become so attached to the details of the plan, that we end up compromising our goal to fit the plan!
Here’s why that’s a mistake.
The current conditions and circumstances by which you created the plan will change. What you know will change. How you think should change as your awareness about what’s possible shifts. As such, the details of your plan- and at times, even your goal- will shift as well.
Don’t be attached to the plan. Allow the required flexibility to morph with your thinking.
Mistake #3: People set goals based on knowing how to achieve it.
Once the goal is set, they map out all the steps to achieve the goal, because they’re familiar with the steps and have the expertise and/or experience to execute the steps.
With that mentality, we wouldn’t have airplanes or space travel.
Think about that for a minute.
The Wright brothers ran a bicycle shop before they created the first airplane. They had no idea about how to create flight, much less the vehicle by which to do so.
What they had was an inspiration, and a faith and willingness to trust the learning process, and to fail repeatedly along the way. The steps of how unfolded little by little, one step at a time.
The key is to take the step(s) you know you can take without having to see the top of the mountain. Trust that with each step your view will change and expand. So will your understanding about what’s next on the path to your goal.
Trust the process.
Mistake #4: Inherently people question whether or not they’re worthy of achieving the goal.
This is where our internal stinkin’ thinkin’ can be such a saboteur. Deep down, we question our worthiness. Self-doubt creeps in.
Perhaps even greater than the fear of failure is the underlying, insidious negative narrative that plays constantly in our consciousness.
After all, who do we think we are?
Let me ask you- what in your life would shift if you asked yourself THIS question:
“Is my dream worthy of me?”
What if you decided that in 2023, you will live each day believing that you are worthy of everything you can dream? That you CAN create a life of abundance?
One of my mentors, Paul Martinelli, said this:
“God’s gift to us is giving us more potential than we’ll ever use. Maximizing that potential is our gift back to God.”
We don’t get what we want in life, we get what we believe we deserve. That worthiness only happens with a radical shift in self-worth.
Act as if you are and you draw it to you. What you act as if you are, you become.
Mistake #5: Most people believe the achievement of the goal is the purpose.
A few days ago, I shared the major mindset shift I had when reading The Gap and The Gain, as I realized I had lived my whole life with a GAP mindset, always seeking what was next at the expense of appreciating the progress.
HUGE impact.
The purpose of setting goals isn’t about the actual achievement of that goal.
The purpose is to recognize, appreciate, and celebrate who you become on the journey.
Slow down enough to pause each day and reflect on your successes. I guarantee you had many.
Be intentional about what you know at the end of each day that you didn’t know when you woke up.
Perhaps these 5 identified mistakes can help you to think differently about where you’re headed in this new year, and what’s most important. While goals are essential in keeping us moving forward, they shouldn’t come at the expense of appreciating the moment.
Be Here Now. Each day is a gift.
That’s why it’s called The Present.
