If you’ve followed the Reboot steps so far, you’ve created the following:
- An open mindset
- A specific list of what you want to reboot in your life
- A specific list of what you want to eliminate in your life
- A prioritized list of steps 2 & 3
Before we move to the final steps of what’s required for a successful reboot, it’s important to pause and reflect on why you may not have yet been successful in creating lasting change in your life.
The first, and most powerful reason is that you are confined, and defined, by your habits. A habit is a routine or behavior, performed repeatedly, and most often, subconsciously. It’s likely taken you YEARS to create your habits, both those that serve as well as those that debilitate. You’ve had your habits for a very long time. They won’t be broken overnight. But they CAN be broken!
The second reason is that you identify with your habits. You’ve likely created a whole lifestyle around what is comfortable for you, be it at work, at home, with your free time, etc. You probably have a routine that you repeat just about every day in each area of your life, be it the route you drive to work or the grocery store, or the meals you eat or TV shows you watch. While on its face there’s nothing inherently wrong with routine, without the awareness of its impact, however, routines lead to dream-killing, soul-crushing, mind-numbing comfort zones. And most people choose, however subconsciously, to stay chained there.
Another reason why change is so difficult is that your routines and habits have payoffs. The payoff might be the safety of familiarity as I just mentioned. Or it might be that your habitual behavior gets rewarded. You behave in a certain way that prompts someone else’s response to your behavior. Oftentimes this is a gesture for attention. You’ve likely seen, or heard about people who have constant drama in their lives. Most of the time, they create this drama, be it a fight with their spouse or partner, or acting inappropriately around someone else to spark a response, or being overly emotional in an effort to be comforted, without ever exploring the root cause of this bottomless need for self-affirming attention from others.
And it’s not just negative behavior, either. If you’re a leader or manager, you’ll know first hand that your employees will often act or react in a way that creates a favorable impression or response with you.
Whatever gets rewarded will be repeated. It’s human nature.
So while there are valid and powerful reasons why change is difficult, change is still a choice. You CAN CHOOSE to make significant and lasting change in your life, and in the last part of this Reboot Series I’ll share how you can begin to create that change.
